While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor. "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes," lectured the instructor.

He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn't it?”

Communicating between the sexes; seems this has always been an issue. Maybe the kindergarteners had it right with parallel play; playing nicely alongside each other in their own cubby of the sandbox.

Both men and women like to have a space of their own. And it seems the longer we live with each other, the more we need it. When it comes to living under one roof, what was that old saying “I married you for breakfast and dinner, but not for lunch.” Or the one from my mother herself during an exceptionally long televised golf marathon “Jenny, the key to a happy marriage is separate bathrooms and two television sets,” she said. It seems it is very important for us all to have a space to call our own.

In last Sunday’s Rio Rancho Journal there was an article on the trend of more high-dollar homes springing up in Rio Rancho than ever before. I just have to wonder how many of these new homes are being built with two master suites. Yes, there is a growing trend amongst couples in the US of having separate bedrooms. Think about it. Years ago the trend started out with separate sinks in the bathroom. Next came separating the clothes into his and hers closets, then dual home offices and home studios. What’s next? It just might be easier to become next door neighbors with a connecting breezeway?

A recent survey by the National Association of Home Builders highlighted an increased demand for homes to be built with his and her master bedrooms. According to experts one of the biggest causes of marital tensions is a poor night’s sleep. Experts claim that sleeping in separate bedrooms or at least having the option has benefited many marriages in a positive way. In trying to contend with each other’s snoring, restlessness, early waking schedules and annoying habits, spouses are finding that ear plugs and noise machines just aren’t cutting it in an attempt to garner a restful night’s sleep. Many are finding their marriages are much better with separate bedrooms.

According to a New York Times article by Tracie Rozhon, “In recent years society has viewed the use of separate bedrooms as a sign of marital breakdown, but this is no longer the case. Instead the use of two bedrooms is becoming a much more practical way to live and in fact seems to be helping many people. The juggling of family life and work is leading to poor nights sleep. Using separate bedrooms allows both halves of the couple to get the sleep they require which in turn is lessening the stress in their lives.”

This same survey also found that as many as 60% of custom built homes will have his and hers bedrooms by the year 2015. In fact, the survey discovered that currently some builders are building 25% of their homes with two master bedrooms. I can see it now: Men will have their space decked out in wood paneling, green shag carpeting, a space heater next to their Barcaloungers and a bottle of Tums on the table. Women on the other hand will have their retreats decorated with color coordinated sheets, hand cream, reading glasses and a romance novel on the night stand, and a cat curled up in the center of the big fluffy comforter. But couples will eat together in the kitchen, watch their favorite TV shows together in the family room, albeit using the “picture in a picture” feature, and wish each other goodnight in the hallway. Sweet dreams, honey. See you in the morning.

Quote of the Week: “Let me be by myself in the evenin' breeze, and listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees” – Don’t Fence Me In by Bing Crosby

Jennifer Huard’s column appears each Thursday. E-mail her with your comments at jhuard@abqjournal.com .