Nothing says Christmas like a big fat tree. When it comes to picking out that perfect tree, there seem to be more choices every year. One year I was on my way to the tree lot to find the perfect little tree for my apartment. My girlfriend, who happened to be Jewish, begged me to take her along because she didn’t understand what all the fuss was about in choosing a tree. “They all look the same, just pick one” she insisted. “Oh, no, its not that quick” I told her. There is a method to this madness.

This year the trend is going artificial in a sophisticated way. One popular choice is the black tree for the avant-garde crowd. I don’t really know how well this trend will catch on. I would think you could get these on the discount table the day after Halloween rather than the day after Thanksgiving.

Another hot seller this season is a fanciful spectacle that was originally produced over one hundred years ago; feather trees. These unscented, soft branched trees come in many varieties. The feathers on the natural rooster feather trees are longer and come in red, green and brown tones. Or, if you prefer, goose feather trees come in a variety of colors, with the most popular being dark green or ivory. I am trying to figure out if the cat would enjoy hiding in a feather tree as much as it does in a Douglas Fir.

There is another odd choice out there that reminds me of those cellular phone towers that are disguised as pine trees; the upside down tree. This Christmas tree gets its inspiration from the Central European tradition of hanging the tree from the ceiling. Supposedly people like it because it takes up minimal floor space but allows more room for piling the presents. I know from having to wire my tree to the wall, the time involved in wiring it to the ceiling.

In some families, getting the tree is a tradition in itself. The Paul Bunyan types turn the event into a winter recreation outing; complete with snow boots, mittens, parkas and machete. Trekking out to the forest and chopping down their very own tannenbaum somehow provides them with a rewarding and enjoyable experience. Not us, although the idea sounded good on paper when my husband read about doing just that in the Cibola National Forest. I don’t think we are that adventurous this year. Maybe we will try it when the kids are big enough to flail their own axes.

We usually go for the live trees so we can landscape our backyard on December 26th. These trees tend to have the natural look, i.e Charlie Brown, as opposed to the nicely groomed varieties you find at the corner tree lots. We have had our share of odd shaped trees, but once we get them in the house and decorated with sentimental ornaments collected over the years, I always end up saying the same thing every year “That is the most beautiful tree we have ever had”. I bet you say that too.

Regardless of make or model, did you know the shape of your tree tells a lot about you? That’s right, short, tall, fat, thin, Charlie Brown, artificial; your tree is a virtual crystal ball into your true spirit of the holiday.

As folklore goes, if you prefer a fat tree, then you enjoy the holiday immensely, snowman sweater and gingerbread candles included. On the other hand, if your tree is on the thin side, then you would rather see the holiday come and go as fast as possible. But if your tree is surrounded by fake presents, then you work at Crate & Barrel.

Quote of the Week: “Get the biggest , shiniest aluminum tree you can find, Charlie Brown, maybe painted pink”. –Lucy from A Charlie Brown Christmas, 1965.