Never ask a man what he is thinking; you don’t want to know the answer.

My husband and I were sitting on the sofa one Sunday afternoon many moons ago. It was the middle of winter and we were snuggled in front of the television watching Jaws, a favorite movie of ours. We were enjoying each other’s company and snacking on something delicious and probably very fattening, no doubt.

It was still the honeymoon stage of our marriage; no children yet, just each other to spend money and lavish attention on. I noticed my little schnook-ums was staring out the window right when police Chief Martin Brody, in understated shock proclaimed, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

Knowing that my hubby was the happiest man on earth with a beautiful new bride and so much to be giddy about, I asked him, “Hey hon, what are you thinking about?”

The sound of my voice snapped him out of his deep contemplation and he uttered, “Oh, I was just wondering how many extension cords there are in the drawer in the garage.” So much for deep contemplation.

Men and women exist on totally different wave lengths. And with Father’s Day this coming Sunday, hitting a home run on the gift rate-o-meter can sometimes be a challenge.

One Father’s Day I was hunting for the perfect present for my dad. Having exhausted the typical Father’s Day gifts including neckties, massage shower heads, paper weights and picture frames, I was at a loss. So, I went to where I knew I couldn’t go wrong; the Craftsman tool aisle of my local Sears. My eyes glazed over as the task of choosing from the multitude of tool sets became overwhelming.

With Dad being the man of the house, I knew he already had tools. But after running out of options and time, I gave in and picked out the affordable Companion 34-piece Homeowner Tool Set with a matching metal tool box.

This practical gift turned out to be one of the best presents I would ever give him. He still has it to this day, some twenty-nine years later. Turns out men like getting tools as much as women like getting a fist full of Mohicans; you can never have too many. Who knew?

We have a rule in our house as far as gifts are concerned; no plugs. They cannot have a plug, use a plug or in any way be pluggable. This includes any and all appliances, tools, shop vacs, etc. There are exceptions to the rule, but those are dealt with on a case by case basis. For the most part the rule holds true. I realized a long time ago this rule was mainly for presents with my name on them. Gifts for my husband were actually better if they did come with a plug. And for that matter, the mightier the current, the better the present.

Last year for Father’s Day, even though my gift didn’t have a plug, it did score a high approval rating. I gave in and bought my husband his heart’s desire; a La-Z-Boy. I swore I would never have one of these recliners in my living room. But it just got to be too much watching him squirm and fidget as he was forced to watch his movies from the squalor conditions of his corner of the leather sofa. He might as well have been wearing an orange jumpsuit with GITMO stenciled across the back. The guilt got to me.

For this year, I considered getting him tickets to Don Henley at the Santa Ana Star Center this summer. But I realized I was thinking like a girl and that whatever the gift would be, it had to come with a plug and preferably a rechargeable battery.

Ace Hardware here I come. Hammock? Grill? Power tool? Or the ever popular gift card? No, I think I’ll go retro and get an old fashioned plastic fly swatter.

Happy Father’s Day.

Quote of the Week: “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” - Bill Cosby.

Jennifer Huard’s column appears each Thursday. She welcomes your emails at jhuard@abqjournal.com .